Want to ensure a lifelong marriage of happiness???

Include you favorite furry companion on your wedding day!

Oh the joy animals can bring to your life! I am blessed to come home to the most precious form of therapy daily...my "Pretty", "Pumpkin", "Reeeeno", "Lover"....officially known as RHINO ♥

I regard this furry friend as my very own form of Xanax. Yep, no need for Xanax here because I have Rhino to lean on, pet and cuddle with when I am struggling to get through a day. Not only is he my best buddy, but he did an awesome job protecting me during our 7 month Central American adventure...
http://theburbadventure.blogspot.com/2008_04_01_archive.html

Here is an excerpt from one of his "guard dog" days:

"It was during this horrendous border crossing day that my irreplaceable companionship with Rhino was solidified (yeah I know another Rhino story, but this is a good one). Up until this point on our journey I was unsure whether Rhino was simply there to look cute and play with coconuts all day or whether he was a true watch dog. At the Honduras border crossing he truly proved his worth. He and I were "watching" the burb as we do best and an older sketchy looking gentlemen walked up to the car window trying to sell me some random pieces of junk. I repeated my monotonous line of "no gracias" or no thank you for those of you who struggle with Spanish :). The scraggly looking gentlemen kept coming back over to my window and I was unsure whether he was simply trying to be nice and strike up conversation or whether he wanted something more. Rhino decided for me on the third round of window creeping when the man got a little too close. He put his front legs on the seat behind me, leaned forward in a fierce posture and barked the loudest and most ferocious bark I have ever heard. He was about 3 inches from the guys face and you should have seen him jump backwards. I was seriously proud of my little "pretty/precious" (what I call him) turned "Beast" (as Chad has always called him). Instead of telling him to stop I let him posture himself for a bit longer to scare the creeper away and it worked. I proceeded to give "Beast" a treat and a big kiss. Never underestimate a lab (see the San Blas blog entry for proof that they can and WILL bite). This is truly when Rhino became "my" dog and when I took over sole responsibility of feeding and caring for the beast :). Love him!!!"--Could you get more precious than this?

As I was finishing up my last bedside novel "Committed" (http://traveltalkteach.blogspot.com/2011/03/therapuetic-nature-of-reading.html), I was reminded of another worthy role that dogs can play..."Flower Dog" or "Ring Dog" in a wedding. And no they are not just there to look cute, they play a MAJOR role in maintaining fidelity in the future marriage. Yep, you heard that right..."In medieval wedding portraits, you will often see the image of a dog painted between the figures of a newly wed couple--the ultimate symbol of fidelity"--Elizabeth Gilbert.

This tidbit brought me back to my own wedding with "Pretty Pumpkin" right in the middle :). Is this a sign of a lifelong happy marriage??? I sure hope so!

(Image via Pat Chidester) 

Rushing down the aisle to help seal the deal :)



(Images via bluewave photo)

Happy Friday!!!

Straight No Chaser...

This is some true music therapy!!! "Straight No Chaser" is a male a cappella group with unbelievable talent and devastatingly good looks! I know I know...male and a cappella conjure up some pretty hysterical and corny images, but give them a try and I promise they will impress. These 10 talented vocalists got their start over 10 years ago in college at Indiana University. They have since reassembled and produced Billboard favorites while touring the USA. One of their more recent video's includes a blend of Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours" and Israel "IZ" Kamakawiwoʻole "Over the Rainbow". Due to my affinity for weddings I fell in love with this combo the minute I heard it.

Another favorite to lighten your day "Stand by me"...



and one of their originals from 1998 (listen all the way through, it's pretty hilarious)...



Do you think there is a possibility that I could get hired to be one of the back up singers humming or making the clicking noises? I think I could nail that one :)

Here is their website if you are interested in learning more:

http://www.sncmusic.com/bio/



♥ Monday Mood Modifier ♥

Make a cozy fire ♥♥♥

Sunny San Diego has been adopting some of Portland and Seattle's rainy characteristics over the past few months and I am beginning to lose my patience. I am either getting old and losing my memory or it truly has been a gloomy winter by San Diego standards. As a way to lift mood and keep warm we made a nice fire in our newly remodeled fireplace (sans the glass, oops).

Grab a cuddle buddy, some hot cocoa and a soft blanket and lay in front of the fire. Activate all of your senses and be in the moment by listening to the fire crackle, smelling the wood burning, watching the ashes illuminate, tasting the sweet hot cocoa on your lips and feeling the warmth of the heat from the flames.

Turn a gloomy rainy day into a relaxing and snug evening!

Before Pictures (this is not a joke...it was really this hideous)...

During...

Our new and improved fireplace with my favorite male model :)...

(Images via traveltalkteach)

Happy Monday!!!

Happy Hump Day!

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"

- Dr. Seuss

Take Dr. Seuss's advice and be yourself today! You may actually like it :)

(Image via http://www.rolemommy.com/blog/the-dad-list-of-banned-dr-seus.php)

Happy Hump Day!!!

The Therapuetic Nature of Reading

(Image via http://www.elizabethgilbert.com/committed.htm)

"Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body"

-Sir Richard Steele

Are you able to fit reading into your daily routine??? If not then I suggest you start. Reading not only enhances your intelligence (through increased vocabulary, increased attention span and exposure to new ideas) it also works as a fabulous distraction technique. In my clinical practice I often ask my client's what they do to distract themselves from their negative thoughts. Time and time again the answer I get is "read"! So there you go...turn off the TV before bed and pick up a good ole novel!

My current bedside tale is Elizabeth Gilbert's "Committed". You may recognize the author because she is also the author of the bestseller "Eat, Pray, Love". I have to admit that I was not the biggest fan of "Eat, Pray, Love". Although the subject matter seems right up my ally--a recently divorced woman on a soul searching journey, traveling around the world--it kind of bored me at points. Conversely, her newest novel "Committed" has me fascinated and psychologically absorbed in every single page.

The book discusses the history of marriage, the statistics surrounding marriage, the authors personal resistance to marriage, and most importantly the different cultural views of marriage around the world. Utterly fascinating in my opinion...although one could say that there could not be a more suitable book out there for me as a Marriage and Family Therapist and a World Traveler :).

Here is an excerpt from the book that I found interesting:

"Infatuation is the most perilous aspect of human desire. Infatuation leads to what psycholgists call "intrusive thinking"--that famously distracted state in which you cannot concentrate on anything other than the object of your obsession. Once infatuation strikes, all else--falls by the wayside as you nurse fantasies about your dearest one that quickly become repetitive, invasive, and all-consuming. Infatuation alters your brain chemistry, as though you were dousing yourself with opiates and stimulants. The brain scans and mood swings of an infatuated lover, scientists have recently discovered, look remarkably similar to the brain scans and mood swings of a cocaine addict--and not surprisingly, as it turns out, because infatuation is an addiction, with measurable chemical effects on the brain."

Yep...you heard it right, infatuation IS an addiction. So those overwhelming feelings and obsessive thoughts about your first love could have been treated like an addiction (and probably should have considering the silly and sometimes dangerous situations we put ourselves in in the name of "love").

Happy Friday!!!

Secrets--> Shame --> Depression/Anxiety/Addiction...

(Via http://www.jessewilliams.ca/ )

Are you living a lie??? Or do you have some deep dark secrets that are eating away at your soul??? You don't have to spiral out of control like Charlie Sheen before getting the help that you need. The W above may stand for "winning" in Charlie's eye's but in my opinion he is losing BIG TIME! That poor man needs help and the last thing you want is to let yourself end up like him!

It is time to find a way to talk about these secrets and put an end to this lie you are currently living. I have a firm belief that secrets lead to shame and guilt which can then lead to a whole realm of psychological issues. The cycle goes something like this...

1. You engage in something that society, your family or you yourself deem inappropriate or "bad".
2. You try to hide this "bad" act or you simply pretend like it didn't happen and hope that it goes away.
3. You begin to find that the insidious little things called "guilt" or "shame" begins to creep up on you.
4. This shame/guilt begins to eat away at your very being and presents itself at very inopportune times.
5. It presents itself through depression, anxiety/panic attacks, agitation, body aches and pains, sleeping too much or too little, racing thoughts, uncontrollable tears (and the list goes on).
6. To try to cope you may find yourself turning to drugs, alcohol, gambling, shopping addiction, trying to be "perfect", isolation and avoiding social gathering, eating too much or too little (these are just a few).
7. You find these "negative" coping skills or addictions are counterproductive and you notice that you have actually dug yourself into a deeper hole.
8. You feel lost and not knowing what to do you start the cycle all over again by lying to those you love about how you are feeling. By not telling your true underlying feelings you get stuck in this cycle.

This cycle may seem depressing in itself, but I have news for you...there is help out there! Reach out to someone that you trust and stop this cycle today. If you don't have anyone you can trust then call a mental health professional to find the help that you need.

Our local San Diego Access and Crisis line phone number is 1-800-479-3339

and our national Crisis line phone number is 1-800-784-2433

Please don't hesitate to reach out for help!!!

♥ Monday Mood Modifier ♥

Today was definitely a MELTDOWN/MANIC Monday for the people around me. I spent my day telling people to breathe and make use of those infamous coping skills. I have come to understand that the general public views the term "coping skills" as just one of those psychobabble buzz words. I am here to tell you different! Although I do not believe that coping skills are a cure-all or a solution for every psychological issue, they certainly can help people get through tough times. Here are a list of my top ten coping skills to help you through the Monday Madness:

1. DEEP BREATHING...are you noticing a theme??? See here for more deep breathing info...
http://traveltalkteach.blogspot.com/2011/01/monday-mood-modifier-on-tuesdayoops.html

2. EXERCISE...go for a simple walk, hike, run or if you don't have the energy or time then do a few jumping jacks or sit-ups. It's just important to get the juices flowing and distract yourself from your current upset.

3. CALL A FRIEND...take a few moments and call a supportive friend that will provide an ear to listen or some calming words to help ease your level of distress.

4. HUMOR...watch the comedy channel, look for funny videos on You Tube, look at old pictures of a funny event or call a comedic friend that always makes you laugh.

5. MUSIC...go grab your Ipod, sit in your car and turn on your favorite radio station or find a good street musician if you live in a big city. Listening to music can provide a huge sense of relief from your negative thoughts. Take a look at these blog entries for more ways that music can provide relief...
http://traveltalkteach.blogspot.com/2011/01/alarm-clock-goes-off-and-you-roll-over.html
http://traveltalkteach.blogspot.com/2011/01/everytime-i-hear-that-song-i-go-back.html
http://traveltalkteach.blogspot.com/2011/01/this-is-why-i-love-music-therapy.html

6. RELAXATION TECHNIQUES....practice using any skills that help you relax. Yoga, meditation, prayer, deep breathing, taking a bubble bath, petting/playing with a dog/cat and progressive muscle relaxation are among my favorites!

7. SAFE PLACE...imagine yourself in a safe and calm place (it can be real or imaginary). What are your surroundings comprised of? What colors do you see? What sounds do you hear? What sensations do you feel? What smells do you smell? Do you see any people or animals with you in this safe place? Imagine that there is a giant bubble that is protecting you from the outside world and let you imagination go!

8. DRAW, COLOR, or MAKE CRAFTS...you don't have to be artistic or creative to use this skill. Just let loose and act like a kindergartner again. Have fun and place no judgement on what you create!

9. JOURNAL...write down whatever is on your mind and try to identify the trigger to your stress or anxiety. You can type this on the computer or use the good ole classic journal. This is a good way to purge your mind of all the chaos. Remember that you don't have to read your journal in the future so don't fret what you are writing, just let your mind go!

10. SOCIALIZE...get out of your house and socialize. If you can't muster up the courage to call a friend or talk to a neighbor then simply go to a public place where you will be forced to interact with someone (ex. grocery store, coffee shop, or a dog park).

Hope this list provides you with some skills to get started. Remember that there are 100's of coping skills and the important part is to find which ones work for you. Be careful of the negative coping skills (such as drinking, smoking, gambling, isolation, etc.) These may provide you with a temporary relief from the pain but in the end they will suck you into that deep dark hole of depression and anxiety :(. Please reach out and get help if you find yourself slipping into this hole!

Happy Monday!!!

Just Breathe....

Wow is March off to an ugly start! I was forewarned by a lovely psychic pal that March would be a challenging month for all of us Virgo's. Given that we are only on day 5 and I have already been faced with some sad and frustrating life challenges I have come to believe the psychic. At this point I have no choice but to practice what I preach :)

JUST BREATHE... JUST BREATHE....JUST BREATHE

This is the best coping skill to use anytime and anywhere when you are feeling frustrated or upset. Now it's time to ignore the negative thoughts and focus my energy on the positive (like the fact that it is 80 degrees outside ♥). If you are interested in reading more about the benefits and ways to practice deep breathing take a look at this past blog entry...

http://traveltalkteach.blogspot.com/2011/01/monday-mood-modifier-on-tuesdayoops.html

Here is a old-time favorite song that reminds us all to JUST BREATHE...

Anna Nalick- "Breathe"

Happy Saturday!!!

Laughter...the BEST medicine!

(Image via funfacts.com.au)

Take a moment to laugh today! Watch a funny show, think of a funny memory or go to You Tube and find a funny video clip. When I need to laugh I think about the fart machine that my guy friends brought to class in high school. They put it in a random desk in the classroom and used the remote from across the room to make it sound like someone was letting loose. Sounds silly but every time I think about this moment I laugh out loud. Do you have any moments like this???

The following is a funny video clip I received today that made me laugh, take a moment to watch it and if you have any video's to share please post them in the comments section :)

http://www.dump.com/2011/02/25/mannequin-head-drop-prank-video/

Happy Thursday!!!